If your husband has an affair with someone else, you need to take him to task, not the other woman. She does not owe you. HE does.
Yes ladies, listen up. It is possible that this word would have hit you, sometimes ripping the heart beyond repair. It sucks, it hurts, it’s unbearable and it takes away that one thing – your confidence.
And heaven help if there is a marriage at stake.
In this post, I am just addressing the issue of the husband being adulterous. Blame games aplenty, some typically standard stuff – he fell out of love, 7 year itch, 10 year itch, 12 year itch, she couldn’t control him, men will be men, she never gave him time, she was working, she is fat etc etc. It doesn’t really matter.
When the wife has gotten her share of sympathy and/or blame from friends, relatives, and neighbours, she is finally asked to confront, threaten, plead, beg for her husband – from the other woman. It’s so painful for me to hear that!
Wives, hear this: the other woman owes you nothing. Period. She is supposed to think of what she is getting out of this ‘unfortunately caught’ affair with your husband. Why would she think about you, or the kids, or the family?
If there is one person who should have thought about this is your husband! Only him. The father of your kids, the one who married you. Only he should have been concerned about the hurt he would cause you or the family. If he did not think about it, why would his girlfriend? HE is your husband and owes you an explanation for his going astray. He is answerable to the kids, about creating a value system that they would be emulating, about ensuring their emotional well being… not his girlfriend. NO.
Please, please girls, don’t go begging to the ‘other’ woman. Are you thinking about the hurt you would cause her by tearing your husband away from her? Are you worried about her emotional well being? Are you worried how she will manage? She means nothing to you right? Then for god’s sake why should she be thinking about you or your family? THINK.
I feel it is below your dignity, and plain stupidity for you to expect her to ‘leave’ your husband. Talk to your man. Don’t let him walk away. Slice and dice your relationship with him, not what he had with his girlfriend. It’s of no consequence.
There could be a thousand ends to this. Pick what works for you and the family…
Your husband was with another woman. Who she was with is not your concern.
I genuinely pray and hope that no woman should ever go through this – but if you have to, you should know where the buck stops.
This article was originally published on WomensWeb.